Yippee!

Thursday afternoon I was scheduled for my regular 3 mos recheck with Dr Long and Tanya in the bone marrow clinic. Usually I get my blood drawn, followed by a physical exam with Dr Long and/or Tanya, and finally a bone marrow biopsy. The aspirate and marrow they collect from my hip is sent off for special leukemia studies to look for any signs of recurrence. At my visit in late July, Dr Long decided that I could skip the bone marrow biopsy since my blood counts were so normal. But he told me that I'd have to get one at my next visit. So all week, I'd been dreading the visit. The biopsies are painful since the numbing medicine they use only dulls the pain at the skin and muscle overlying the biopsy site. The part where they drill into the hip bone and beyond into the marrow is quite painful. They drill a second hole to suck out liquid marrow for the aspirate sample and that produces an intense pain that radiates across the whole pelvis. That part isn't dumbed by the Lidocaine either.

My first bone marrow biopsy was actually at UNC where I was diagnosed with the leukemia in late May 2008 after my white blood cell counts started dropping followed by my red blood cells and then my platelets. That very first biopsy was angst ridden- what with the waiting for news of what this was. I knew that it was something bad because in addition to the low numbers of cells, the cells had begun to appear atypical, a sure sign of malignancy. But the actual biopsy procedure was not uncomfortable because they used what is called conscious sedation. They placed an IV in my arm, monitored my breathing and blood pressure, while they gave me IV morphine and ativan. It's kind of a "La La Land " where you know what is happening, but there is no pain or anxiety. I got spoiled a bit by that first biopsy because it was so easy. Well the actual procedure was easy anyway. My hip was sore and bruised and tender for the next several days, but Motrin handled that easily.

So the dread started seeping back in Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday this week as I thought about having another biopsy Thursday afternoon. My appointment was scheduled for 3pm at Duke, and Sallie, my boss, let me rearrange my hours to be there without missing work time. I worked the morning clinic and through lunch until 1:30pm. There is nothing like hearing 19 other peoples' health issues to take your mind off your own impending date with a big needle. And it worked to keep me busy and focused before I had to leave for my appointment. Then Dr Long decided that my blood counts looked great. Not only did I not need the biopsy, but he was cutting me loose to follow up whenever I wanted as long as my monthly blood test remains normal. All that worry and dread for nothing. I was so very relieved not to have the biopsy and even more relieved to get on to a more minimal follow up routine. Though it might not be needed, I did tell him that I want to be seen again in 6 mos. Call it post cancer wariness. I don't want to be too far removed from the clinic in case I need them.

We piled into the car as usual Thursday afternoon and headed for the mtns after my appointment. The mountain views are finally clear & sunny here. We are still seeing a little leaf foliage though it is definitely post peak. I love this time of year because the Asheville house starts to have a splendid view of downtown as well as the mountains both east and west of town. The sun comes up just over the east mountains, shining into our eyes with its low winter arc. We have to close the curtains for the first hour or two until it gets higher in the sky with less of a slanting path through the bedroom windows. If it's sunny, there is often a beautiful rosy glow to both the sunrise and the sunset. It's one of the reasons I like this house, though it is modest and boring in the way that raised ranches are. We keep feeding the birds, both in the front and the back of the house, and they keep coming for us. The woodpeckers are looking brilliant this time of year.

So Yippee for me!!!

People Who Share Their Bounty

Once in a while, I am truly astounded by the generosity of people. In addition to all of the intimate information that they share about themselves, I sometimes receive gifts from my patients. This week one of my patients brought me some canned goods from her garden. The jars included pear conserve, grape jam, homemade spaghetti sauce, heirloom tomatoes preserved with herbs and vinegar, and cooked wild pears. We had been talking about how nice it is to grow a bit of your own food, how it tastes better than anything you can buy at the store, when she announced that she was going to bring me some treats from her garden. I had forgotten about it for several days until she returned to the clinic toting a large basket full of goodies, some of which are shown here. Most of you know that I take care of many people without health insurance, and like this woman, they tend to work in low paying jobs. I was struck with gratitude at this woman's generosity and couldn't help but give her a big hug of thanks for all she'd done. How nice of her to take the trouble to do all of that and to drop by to give it all to me. And what a delicious surprise too; those heirloom tomatoes are swimming in the best garlic sauce I've ever tasted!

My other delight this morning was getting to meet Anna Elizabeth- all of 4 days old today. My work pal Sarah went into labor Thursday night and delivered her on Halloween eve about midday. Anna got to experience her first Halloween in Chapel Hill -from the inside of the UNC hospital, a much safer place than trolling down Franklin Street in costume. Mom and baby are doing great, and it was terrific to see them today before I had to leave for work. I had trouble tearing myself away from holding her to drive to the clinic. I can only imagine how it will feel for Sarah when she returns to work 3 mos from now.

Thanks to everyone who has shared a little piece of themselves with me this year. It doesn't go unnoticed or unappreciated.

How Does He Do It?

I looked outside my bedroom window Thursday morning as I was drinking coffee and thinking about the day ahead. I spied this guy in his usual corner of my garden showing off the last of his tomatoes. I don't know how he does it, but he manages to leapfrog me every year-if I put in 3 tomato plants, he has to plant 4. If mine stop producing in October, his go clear into November. Fortunately he is kind and shares them with me. Tee hee, as Susan says.

Well it is October no more, since I'm writing this on the evening of November 1st. We have set our clocks back, and I'm already missing the daylight. The weekend weather in Asheville was unseasonably warm and rainy. At one point, I was pretty sure I'd been transported to Seattle or some other Pacific Northwest clime. Today, finally, it was a respectable 45F with at least some patches of blue sky for a few minutes. That sunshine was a welcome sight. I used it to do a terrific 8 mile run around Beaver Lake (my first in over 7 weeks after my hamstring pull) and to clean up the garden a bit. I only had time to transplant a few perennials & trim some wild grapevines before heading back to Hillsborough. There is always next weekend to tackle the next two or three jobs that need to be done.

I'll be seeing my bone marrow doc and his PA later this week. I have an appointment with Dr Long and Tanya this Thursday afternoon, my usual 3 month follow up. Since they skipped the bone marrow biopsy when I saw them in July, I suspect that I won't be so lucky this time. I am hoping that all will be well with my blood counts, and maybe, just maybe, I can defer this biopsy too.

I have another big anniversary coming up this week. My last hospitalization for chemo last year was November 4-8th. I had 2 treatments each day on the 4th, 6th, and 8th. You can bet Holly and I will be celebrating how far we've come. As I always say, Yippee!!!

Supporters

I got a comment to one of my posts from someone who calls himself Hopeful Husband. His wife had breast cancer about 18 mos ago and was subsequently diagnosed with secondary leukemia like I was. He apparently ran across my blog while looking for info or maybe just doodling with AML sights on the internet. Her doctors are advocating a bone marrow transplant after her initial chemo to induce remission, which of course my doctors did originally too. I don't know where you both are in the process, but I wanted to take this opportunity to wish you luck with all of the day to day decisions and issues that come up (you've already been through chemo and surgery so you know a thing or two thousand about what I mean).

Good luck to you and to my Stepdad and Mom who start their next phase tomorrow too.

Finding a Way

I wrote a blog post a while ago called "Other People's Cancer" because we had two people close to us who had recently been diagnosed with cancer. I wrote about how the news of other peoples' cancers causes me to relive some of my own past health struggles. Since I wrote that, my stepdad was diagnosed with brain cancer and had surgery to remove his tumor. Next week he begins his own course of radiation and chemo, while Holly's brother-in-law finishes his. I know intellectually that there is no more cancer now than when I was in my twenties; it just seems like it. Just another consequence of aging I guess. I don't mean to focus so much time and energy and words on the topic, but it just keeps popping up. I promise that when it stops appearing and re-appearing, I'll stop writing about it so much. Until then, to those finishing and starting their treatment course, good luck!

Remember, energy begets energy. Do anything to move-get off the couch and go for a walk or if you're too weak for that, just walk around the yard. Be outside and feel the breeze on your face. Anything to enjoy being alive and feel less like a patient.

Holly and I attended my work banquet this weekend in Chapel Hill. How nice to see so many of my fine co-workers all dressed up, enjoying themselves at the dinner. Nice too of Piedmont to stage such a terrific event even in this time of tough finances. I promise to see a few extra patients everyday over the next year to help pay for it-well worth it!

Lighting Up the Night

Last night we attended the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society "Light the Night" fundraiser in Durham. Marty, Deb, and Alex join us there with several friends adding donations to our team to benefit all of the good work that is done by the society for research and patient advocacy. Last year I was out of the hospital on the night they held the event, but my cell counts were too low to out and about with the public. It felt good to be able to join in this year, walking with a lit balloon-mine white since I am a survivor, while Holly and Alex had red ones as supporters. The event was much more somber than the Breast Cancer events I've attended. For one, it was notable how few white survivor balloons there were compared to red supporter balloons. Fortunately there are fewer blood cancers diagnosed each year, but the survival rates are much lower than for breast cancer. It certainly hit home seeing the paucity of white balloons compared to red ones at this event. I could go on and on about how lucky it made me feel. I could extoll my appreciation to everyone who supported me last night & the last year whether you were there or not. And I could assure all of you that I am happy for every additional day I get to be here. One survivor who had the same cancer I had last year spoke to the gathering just before we left for the 2 mile walk around Durham. He said that he didn't feel much like a hero which someone had called him. But then he realized that he was "Here -Oh," and that seemed to fit. Well thankfully I am "Here- Oh" too.

What 50 Looks Like

Today is Holly's 50th birthday. While I was able to avail myself of the 3:30am hotflashes to say happy birthday, I had to wait until 7am to properly sing her the Happy Birthday song which is customary in my family. She was good natured too about the big tube of "Oil of Old Age" which I gave her. Tonight we'll go to the local hangout to celebrate a bit. We haven't done nearly enough of that- what with the cruise trip to Scandinavia, the cabin weekend with friends at the Va Creeper trail, and of course that happy birthday wish at 3:30am. Tee hee. Anyway, I feel incredibly lucky and blessed to be here now and celebrating my girlfriend's 50th. In some ways, it feels like I am celebrating my 50th birthday too. After my struggles and health challenges of the past few years, I feel older than 47. So 50 seems as good as any age to pick, and it's a fun one to commemorate. Thankfully I'm here and healthy and happy and able to be part of so many fun events.